Until We Meet Again…

Here we are before he walked me down the aisle on November 3rd 2007. I’m terrified. He is calming me down. Thats’s what he did best.

Last week I lost him. He was 71. Just like that, he’s gone. I can no longer pick up the phone when I’m having a bad day and ask his advice or listen to one of his encouraging pep talks.

When he received his cancer diagnosis in June it was like being hit in a head-on collision. Life got real, quick.

What do we do now? We fought. We fought hard. I took him to every appointment and made sure we exhausted all options. “I’m going to fight this.” he would say, absolutely. We made it through six rounds of chemo before his body was too weak to take anymore.

Not once did he complain. He would actually downplay his pain. That was his way. Never wanting to put anyone out, never to be a burden.

The time we spent together near the end was special. It wasn’t how we wanted it but he would say “If it meant spending time together, it was worth it.”

Breaks my heart.

Not fair. Cancer took his life . He was supposed to have more time. I’m living a roller coaster of emotions…anger, sadness, resentment, confusion.

Saturday we celebrate him. His life, his sweet soul.

I know time will heal, or at least I hope. I also know he is in a better place. But I admit, I’m selfish and I want him here.

All the boat rides, sonic hot dogs, Krispy Kreme donuts, pep talks, fishing off the pier and Tennessee football games. These memories will live on in my heart forever. Until we meet again. 💗